Ok, I may be hitting the wall.  Right now, as we speak, hitting the damn wall.  I’m a little bit bored.  No, a lot bored.  It’s very difficult to work an aimless office job after working with subsea robotics.  And training as a commercial diver.  And traveling all over the damn place, and living here and there.  I am bored.  I need something to happen.

What I actually need is a goal, a purpose, for life to have some sort of meaning.  And for the life of me, I cannot figure it out.  Life is like a blank canvas right now.  So many possibilities!

Here’s the biggest stressor: the job.  The J.O.B.  I need one and yet, it is the most demotivating thing in the whole wide world, to do the job search.  I don’t know how to network here.  I had gotten good with the networking in the gulf because it was the old boys’ club, and that’s where I’m comfortable, somehow.  Maybe just more accustomed to it.  Here…  I don’t know my head from my ass and I’m completely uncomfortable.  So I don’t do anything and nothing changes and I continue to the same J.O.B. that’s not improving anything in my life.  Quite the opposite, I think.  Argh.

It’s all association though, at the core of it.  Change the association, change what I see in the world.  Traditionally when I reach this point, the only option seems to be leaving.  But I don’t want to go now, but I’m still conditioned to want to leave.  See what I mean?  Change the association…  Where is Tony Robbins in an elevator when you really need him?

DJ Khaled / Out Here Grindin’


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