Just a quick post to commemorate the day, what with it being my last at [international hair and beauty corporation]. I’m officially a stay-at-home freelancer.
Image courtesy of Raving Dave
I heard a friend say this once, “If it makes you feel like you’re going to vomit, you’re on the right track!” She wasn’t talking about a night at the bar; rather, she was talking about how to know if a decision or life change was right. I’ve been thinking about this little saying for the past week or so, because as I’ve gotten closer to my end working date, the uncertainty of what I’m moving toward has become more real in my brain, more prevalent in my thoughts. It has made me feel like vomiting, a little! Because I have had a tendency, in the past, to go charging toward something thinking it will be the perfect thing, the solution I’ve been waiting for!, only to find that it, too, has its pitfalls.
This is a much different change, though, and I’m excited. I’m working with a great company, and the transition feels really natural, not at all jarring. The timing feels right, and I’m so excited to see what’s next!
This is it, we’re in the middle of it already! It’s the time of year that requires, to my way of thinking, the most adjustment: from Fall into Winter. Yes, capitalized, just like that. Its seems like only a few weeks ago that it was all sundresses, maybe paired with boots, but maybe not, maybe still with a bare leg and a cute heel. But now! No dice. Even though the temps can still be into the 50s and 60s, the morning-time is chilly-willy, down to the 30s. Even I, Winter Lover Extraordinaire, experience some difficulty in acclimating. No, it’s true. I love winter, but I become slightly squeamish about getting out and doing stuff when it’s cold-yet not winter, with wind-but no snow.
Par ejemplo, last night, I went for a run. But it took some mind-wrangling to get there. I came home from work and, realizing I had eaten way too much office-chocolate (this is not a euphemism, though it really could refer to a number of things… there’s chocolate and candy f’ing everywhere in the damn office. I look at it as a good exercise in self control, though it usually turns into let’s-eat-so-much-chocolate-at-work-that-it-makes-me-sick-and-I-don’t-want-to-eat-it-anymore, however. This experiment, as yet, has not proven successful.), and because I had chosen not to visit the gym, I decided on the running. I got home and started eating corn chips, mais oui. And I ate a lot of them. Stress-eating, you wonder? Procrastination-induced snacking? Yes, yes indeed. Because it was COLD (44 deg F, or thereabouts) and it was windy, and I simply DID NOT WANT TO. But, I went anyway, and once I got out there it was good.
The tricky part of cold-weather activity is managing the body-temp gap between starting the activity and being at the point of sweating. Layering! Of course! But if you run, you know it’s a real hassle to take shit off and tie it around your waist. Plus, you end up looking like an elderly woman mall-walking at 7am. So I dress sparingly, and hope I’ve struck the right balance. I did, last night, and the run was lovely.
My point being, though, that I have to remind myself every year that, while it stinks sometimes to get out there, it’s a matter of wearing the appropriate clothing, and then you can do anything. Right? I saw a guy driving to work yesterday morning, on a motorcycle, in 40-something degree rain. But he was wearing a nice motorcycle suit and I thought to myself, I’ll be he’s real comfy. And he probably was. Because he was protected by his clothing, which is the whole point. Here’s a good frame of reference:
Image courtesy of The Arctic Kingdom Polar Expeditions.
This may seem like the most asinine pastime in the whole world, but there are those who love ice-diving. I’ve heard it’s beautiful, though I can’t say for certain I’d ever endeavor. Properly clothed, though, it’s nearly the same as any other cold-water diving. It’s all about the equipment.
Thought of the day: it’s not that the customer/client is always right, but rather that I don’t always need to be right. Right?
I have a tendency toward know-it-all’ingness. It’s not pretty. I think there’s a gene in the family, probably on both sides, where we must be right, and we must know that you know that we are right. I’ve also been known, not willing to recognize the fault in myself, to scrutinize others for the same flaw. But, as with anything, knowing is half the battle.
I had a moment working with a client today where I held my tongue, made the requested edits, and moved on to the next task. Now, you can understand this was difficult, as the issue at hand was whether autumnal allergies could be caused by pollen, because isn’t pollen more a springtime thing? I looked it up, of course, and thought about tossing in an off-handed remark about knowing that, in fact, allergies at this time of year could indeed be pollen-related, because I, personally, suffer this particular malady, at this time, every year.
You can just hear the peevishness in my tone, can’t you. It’s there, and repeating it here makes it that much more obvious. And annoying. And petty-sounding. I mean, really. Why is it so important to expend energy thinking about setting him straight? And did I need to verify the facts on WebMD.com (and yes, this is the link to the Fall Allergies info page)? Or consider sending a link just so they would know I was right, or that this type of allergy was valid? A-nnoy-ing. Do you ever have moments when you wonder how the people around you even like you sometimes? I’m such a pain in the ass sometimes!
I am foraying into the world of self-employ. While I’ve been freelancing for almost a year, I am now at the point where the work I’m doing is enough to cut back my office-work schedule to 3 days/week, and I have more than enough work to do the remaining 4 days/week for my main client. I’ve fantasized for years about working for myself; it’s quite a different story when confronted with the reality of the thing, am I right? I don’t say this as a negative, it’s simply an adjustment in both daily habits and practices, and in mentality/perception. I’m loving it so far, and getting more disciplined about my work habits, primarily because I can see how easy it is to simply work all the time. Although, this isn’t really anything new for me, I’m fond of being a busy-busy-bee! I can also see the necessity of getting out and spending time with people, ie volunteering, and participating in a writing group (of which, incidentally, I found a really great one last week! through the Hennepin County Library system. Have I ever mentioned how much I looooove the library? Home away from home for this word nerd!).
What I love about working from home, more than anything, is that I get to decide my schedule. I do not enjoy the necessity of being at an office for a prescribed number of hours during a set time frame. This has always made me a little cray-cray, though I’ve spent years trying to convince myself that it’s what I need to adjust to to make a living in this world. I’m soooo happy to be finding out that there are other options- and they’re even viable options! What I love about freelance writing is, well, writing. Because the more you do of something you love, the more you do of something you love! Or, something to the effect of, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” While some may debunk this as bad career advice, I say it’s completely true!
At the moment, I’m taking a break from writing about various types of cancer for clients (just a little light writing for a Monday, thank you very much!). These are the ways I like to give my mind a rest:
More writing, ovbi. Though it’s nice to be able to vent the randomness in my brain
Trail running. Today @ Lebanon Hills Regional Park, which is a bit of a jaunt, but definitely worth it. It was grey and dreary, which made the leaves still clinging to the branches scream their vibrant colors. I f’ing love autumn in Minnesota!
Regular running, too.
Or walking along the mighty Mississipp’, which is nearby.
Doing headstands, a la B.K.S. Iyengar. Like this: Ha! No, more like this:Except sh!ttier, with a lot of confused adjusting happening throughout.
Playing Words with Friends with a guy I used to date. I suppose he would be considered some sort of ex, though he wasn’t technically a boyfriend (of course, this is my attitude about our relationship now. Had you asked while we were dating, he probably was considered a boyfriend. Still, there needs to be some sort of nomenclature pertaining to people you formerly dated. Ex… datees? No. Come up with something and leave it in the comments, if you would!). Anyhoo, it’s weird because we don’t talk, but I soooooo want to beat him, so we keep playing.
Eat food. Make food. Think about going to get food or ordering food. Looking at food in the cupboards. Making more coffee to drink for when my break is over.
Facebooking, tweeting, et cetera. Truly, an addiction. (Feel free to friend ‘n’ follow, btw.)
Daydreaming about getting a French Bulldog.
Perusing adopt-a-dog sites, searching for vicarious puppy-love
Many, many other interesting things.
What do you do on your breaks, peeps who work from home and otherwise? I’m always fascinated by how people spend their downtime… or procrastinate-time.
I don’t love pickles, not really. Something about dill pickles just doesn’t suit my palate. Dill itself I think is quite divine, but dill pickles don’t interest me at all. Bread and butter pickles (I think this is the type, the sweet ones?), on the other hand, I do like these. Which are basically the same as refrigerator pickles.
All summer long I’ve been splitting a CSA share with a friend. Every week we’d get something different – lemon cukes, edamame, kale, thyme, what-have-you. More than anything else though, we got BEANS. Every damn week, BEANS. Green beans, wax beans, I don’t know the exact nomenclature, but there were OODLES of them. And I loved to eat them, but I wasn’t creative enough, and got bored, and a lot of beans went to waste, unfortunately. The whole time though, I was thinking how great it would be to pickle them! But it seemed too daunting, and so I didn’t. I think I’m a little scared of canning because of something I read in a book once about botulism, maybe in East of Eden, or similar.
But, I digress. Refrigerator pickles, on the other hand, so easy! I found a few recipes, like this one, and just adapted it, because some of the recipes I found seemed like they wanted to be fancy and I just wanted the most basic one I could find. No fanciness of ingredient for me, just a plain old McDonald’s burger, thankyouverymuch. Also, I had this big old jar, so I adapted for the size of the thing.
Easy Refrigerator Pickles
Ingredients:
5-6 cups cucumbers (pickling cukes are great, but no need to discriminate), thinly sliced
1 large onion, thinly sliced
6 cups vinegar (I used 4 cups white, 2 cups apple cider to cut the tartness)
3 cup sugar
3 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon mustard seeds
2 teaspoon celery seeds
Prep:
Place cukes and onion in a gallon jar. Combine remaining ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Carefully pour liquid into gallon jar and refrigerate. Let chill 3-4 days. Pickles can be kept for up to 6 weeks.
Voila! I tried mine after they’d been in the fridge for about 12 hours. The cukes were still very raw and crunchy, but the flavor of the wash tastes about right, so I’m excited to test them again in a few days!
Are you a pickler, or a canner? Leave your tips in the comments below!
2. Full moon! Yesterday at 12:51pm. I couldn’t sleep, which got me to thinking about why we associate so much cray-cray with the full moon. I couldn’t find anything substantive (which is sort of a given, considering it’s all very woo-woo anyway), though I did familiarize myself with the myth of Luna (Latin), aka Selene (Greek), à la Edith Hamilton‘s Mythology:
Endymion the shepherd,
As his flock he guarded,
She, the Moon, Selene,
Saw him, loved him, sought him,
Coming down from heaven
To the glade on Latmus,
Kissed him, lay beside him.
Blessed is his fortune.
Evermore he slumbers,
Tossing not nor turning,
Endymion the shepherd.
Basically, we have the crazy-town, love-obsessed moon-goddess Luna, smitten with the shepard Endymion, who she turns into Rip Van Winkle, so she can gaze upon him nightly, eternally. And this, in a roundabout way, might give insight why the condition of lunacy is so named, if Luna was the goddess, and the moon’s phases are intrinsically connected to menses, and the goddess was cray… If, then. If you follow my line of reasoning. Which may be faulty and disjointed after a sleepless, moonstruck night.
Pistorius, 25, was born without fibulas and had his lower legs amputated when he was 11 months old. He runs on carbon-fiber blades known as Cheetahs, which have stirred international debate over whether they give him an unfair advantage.
It’s a little mind candy to play with. A double-amputee. With carbon-fiber prosthetics. Yes, the material is probably superior to the good ol’ human leg, but is it an advantage? Discuss.
I don’t know why it’s taken me forever to figure this out. Installing WordPress on my computer so that I can do all sorts of wondrous things has been nearly as painful as contemplating chewing off my own arm, like that guy in 127 Hours, a movie which did not hold my attention. Or else I was knitting or cooking and only marginally paying attention to a movie which probably required a lot of visual processing, so it was all just lost on me. My point being that WP is hopefully installing as we speak. Maybe. And then, perhaps, I can figure out how to use it and not funk everything up! Woo-hoo!
Did I mention I’m wanderlusting? Whereas the Daily Show will give you a moment of Zen, I am giving myself a daily dose of torture, or inspiration, depending upon how you view it. I’m somewhere in between, myself. The image du jour:
I’m practically salivating over anything Montana-related at this point. Except for fires and the like. Except if I were salivating over wildfires, I would be, theoretically, helping the cause. Anyway.
I’m not just fantasizing about any old place in MT, it’s one area in particular. It starts in Red Lodge, stretches north by way of U.S. Route 212/ Beartooth Highway, which, according to Wikipedia, passes through portions of Custer National Forest, and Shoshone National Forest and near the Absaroka-Beartooth Wilderness. U.S. 212 winds in and out of Montana and Wyoming, with a layover in Cooke City, until it finally ends just a bit further along, at the northeast entrance of Yellowstone.
We camped along this route a million times when I was a kid. An oft-repeated story of Ang-as-toddler occurred while staying at Island Lake Campground, elevation 9,600 ft. Not ever a graceful child, I fell into the very-very cold water one night and, because I was pretty short, drenched all of my little jeans. The jeans were hung outside overnight to dry, but the temps dipped that night, and we awoke to frozen pants, and I started to cry. This is where opinions differ. I’m quite certain that I was crying because I saw snow on the ground. The three other members of my family insist it was because the jeans were frozen. I have always disagreed with this premise, but no longer dispute it when told around the campfire. There are other stories they don’t tell, like the time when, raising it too quickly, a flaming marshmallow launched from the stick, landing squarely on my cheek. Or how, as a teenager, I insisted upon wearing makeup throughout our annual westward trek, secretly convinced I would pass some hunky guy on trail.
So, while we’re at it, let’s take a moment to ruminate on how much we love the National Parks and Forests, shall we? What is your fave Park or Forest? Share your memories in the comments!
I have a nearly-unbearable case of itchy feet. I have some vacay planned mid-July, driving to KC for a conference, and then on to Colorado to visit friends, so there’s a goal in sight! And that helps alleviate (somewhat, very mildly) the urge to pack up and drive away. For now, I won’t do that.
In my mind, summer is for road trips to the mountains, and it’s been several years since I’ve stared at a high-altitude sky and counted falling stars and satellites. It doesn’t help that I have an ever-growing playlist (found here) dedicated specifically to road trips, and here’s a little sip of the cheesiness (you expected nothing less, correct?):
Since our camping trips began when I was still in diapers (perhaps before, as my mother once hinted I was conceived in a camper. We have never revisited this line of discussion.), many of the songs are old. Most share the bluesy-country-alt country vibe: my mom has always been a lover of country music, my dad leaned more to rock and blues, while my brother, at one point, would listen to nothing but Led Zeppelin and the Guess Who. Indeed, I cannot listen to any song from the American Woman album without being immediately transported to a rocky, secluded campsite in the Shoshone National Forest in Wyoming, somewhere betwixt Red Lodge, Montana, and the northeast entrance to Yellowstone. We owned American Woman on cassette, and when we weren’t driving, would listen to the tape on a clunky old battery-powered tape player. A little of this, anyone?
I experience strange satisfaction and joy in having reached an age when something so commonplace in childhood has now become an ungainly dinosaur, even to my eyes.
What are you summer songs? Best road trip memories and locations? Leave your comments below!
And quickly, since mountains are to Colorado what pretty toenails are to Essie polish, donation and volunteer info from the Summit Daily News follows:
• El Paso County Sheriff’s office: Large animal shelter at Norris-Penrose Equestrian Center needs volunteers: 719-520-7773.
• The Red Cross in Colorado Springs is at 719-632-3563. Those wanting to donate money to the Red Cross can go here.
• Help Colorado Now, a partnership of Colorado Division of Emergency Management (CDEM) and Colorado Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster (COVAD), has a list of donations needed and Fort Collins location for drop-off.
• The Salvation Army can take monetary donations; specify ‘Northern Colorado Chapter – High Park Fire’ or ‘Northern Colorado Chapter – Waldo Fire:’ 303-866-9216, The Salvation Army, 1370 Pennsylvania Ave., Denver, CO 80132.
• Donate online to Larimer Humane Society 15or mail checks to 5137 S. College Ave., Fort Collins, CO 80525. Society currently coordinating rescue of all animals in High Park Fire area, providing water to animals that have not been evacuated, reuniting owners and pets and sheltering evacuated animals: 970-226-3647, ext. 7.
• Text HIGHPARK to 80108 to donate $10 for fire relief in northern Colorado through The mGive Foundation: mgivefoundation.org
• Rist Canyon Volunteer Fire Department 17Donations can be mailed to: RCVFD-Treasurer, PO Box 2, Bellvue, CO 80521.
This afternoon, I had a little shift from the wackiness of the morning, and I just felt a little down. In a nugget, moping. You know how sometimes you just feel it? Probably just the lack of chocolate in the week’s diet, but it just stuck around. And wouldn’t goaway. So, I just let it be there, and went about the business of working. Which really is the best way to get through it anyway. Much better than lying on the bed, listening to old Cold Play songs that, perhaps, remind you of happier days, say 10 or so years ago, and approximately, oh, 9,000 miles away. With palm trees, and sunrise diving, and midday hammock time…
Digressing. Self-pity. Pity party. It’s so pathetic, because you can identify it, and you know it’s not rational, and YET. I was on my way to a friend’s house, to visit her newborn, and I really f*cking needed to shake it, at least a little. So I started employing some tactics, and I thought I would share. Yes, I still feel a bit blue, but not so much as earlier.
Say thank you. Say it out loud, or in your mind, or in the windows-up radio-down seclusion of your Ford Focus. For whatever damn thing that comes to mind: your car, the fact that you have a pair of shoes that fit, whatever. And not in a smart-assy way. Say it genuinely, or as close to genuine as you can get.
See the opportunity, if applicable, in the situation that upset you. In my case, I recently lost a client. If you can remove yourself from the situation (e.g. it’s so damn nice to have a regular gig), and gain some perspective on the actual situation (I didn’t feel particularly good about the type of biz said client was in), you can see that it might, somehow — in even the minutest sort of way — be a good thing. And really, it is just a matter of allowing yourself to see the tiniest speck of light that can make all the difference some days.
Get the hello out of the house! Depression equals wanting to sequester yourself and bask in the badness of it all. If you can, get your butt outside, even if you’re only going to scowl at people at the library. Just get away, if only briefly, from the energetic raincloud you’ve been inhabiting. Stare at a tree. Buy some notebooks and new pens at CVS. Eat 15 samples of homeopathic-organic-vegan brioche at Whole Foods. Make fun of hipsters getting lunch from the food trucks. Just. get. out.
Exercise. This should really be higher up on the list, because it’s the best one. It’s hard to cry when you’re at the gym, watching reruns of House Hunters. Also, you just feel better when you’re doing something great for yourself and your body.
Go to sleep. Sometimes it’s just better (unless it’s a habit, then you need to talk to someone).
Listen to a good/inspirational/high-energy song. Faves include “I can only imagine,” by MercyMe (a disclaimer here, this song is highly, highly religious, but it is bound, indelibly, to Team Hoyt [see vid below], and that is one amaze-balls story, right there. Much inspiration.), maybe a little Eminem, and loads of other either cheesy or horrible songs that I’d prefer not to make you privy to. Start paying attention to songs that make you feel good, that give you a little boost when you’re driving, check the interwebs for exercise/running playlists to get some ideas.
Write it out. I tend to express myself better in writing than I do with the speaking, so it’s always worked for me to have a come-to-Jesus with some loose leaf. I like a little Q&A, though it can just be a rant, or a drawn-out wallow. Simply expressing it outwardly can extricate it from your body, and leave you some room for relief.
Scream. Preferably where no one can hear you. Again, the car works pretty well for this particular option.
Talk to someone. A friend, parent, spouse, whomever will listen. Don’t go on and on for an hour, or they may never listen again 😉 but if there’s a trusted someone you can talk to, see if they’ll lend an ear.
Spend time with an animal. I love dogs, because they just love you. Cats sometimes let you get close to them, and they might let you pet them, and it’s possible they’ll purr. Pets don’t carry around the stuff we do, they just love. You know what they want, and they want to give it right back to you. I hug my roomy’s dog as often as I can. I kiss him between the eyes, I talk to him and call him stinky, I’m intoxicated by his dog-smell. There’s nothing more joyful than watching him swim in the lake. Even just thinking about him makes me happier.
Find a way to gain some perspective. I lost a client. In the scheme of things, so what!? As I drove away from the house this afternoon, the aforementioned song “I can only imagine” song was on the radio and I was instantly reminded of the video below. Lost a client? Boo f’ing hoo. This dude runs/jumps/swims/bikes in IRONMAN competitions with his full-grown son in tow. I like to call this method buck-the-f@ck-up, because sometimes the touchy-feely shite doesn’t work, and you just have to knock it out of yourself. Which I think is what just happened for me (finally!).
Which leads to the last suggestion: help someone else. Volunteer, stalk old people in parking lots to help them carry things, wait at a door somewhere and just open it for people. It feels good to help people out, and it moves your focus away from what’s bothering you.
I know I have more than this, so I’ll update when I can think of them. What works for you? Leave your suggestions in the comments! (Also, see if you can make it through Team Hoyt without crying…)
Ha! No, more like this:
Except sh!ttier, with a lot of confused adjusting happening throughout.
tinkerly. 